Birthday facebook deactivation. Try it.

[View the republished version on my new blog]

It was my birthday yesterday. 
So I turned my Facebook off.

"But Jess! Your birthday is, like, the BEST day to have Facebook!"

Yeah maybe... or maybe not.... And here's why...

Sarah Deutscher recently spoke about "The Great Addiction" we have in this world, aka the "like button culture". The addiction to being liked, flattered, have followers, and in this case the frenzy of birthday posts we expect. So, as a bit of a personal experiment (and because I started to consider the effect social media has on me) I turned my Facebook off yesterday.

About a year ago I started intentionally removing social media from the centre of my closest friendships. These days, the majority of my communication with these people is outside of social media. We talk in real life. (Remember what that was like?) 

In addition to this, I've also started deactivating my facebook whenever I am away, on leave, or just need to switch off and IT IS AWESOME. No notifications... No distractions... No obligation... Just real life, real people and real conversation. 

So when my birthday rolled around this year, I decided I wanted to spend it with my husband, family and friends WITHOUT the subconscious "chatter" of birthday posts. 

I'm sorry if I took away your chance to show me some birthday love, but I much prefer the effort of a birthday card than an overload of notifications. Also, I don't want to feed my addiction to that "like button culture" I mentioned earlier. 

Y'see, here's the other thing - Facebook is not one of my love languages. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's not anyone's love language because it's not actually a love language. (Say what now?)! It's just an internet page that we think is personal but really isn't. Social media is a great tool for communication and connection (that I do really enjoy most days) but for life's important events I find it to be cold, tasteless and can often feel like an obligation. (Be honest, how many "HBD2U" messages have you sent to someone you're not really friends with, wouldn't invite to your own b'day party, and only know it's their birthday because facebook told you?) 

Am I over thinking it? Probably... Am I still happy I did it? You betcha. I love detoxing from the social media world and what better day to be fully present in the real world than my birthday? 

Just sayin'. 

Jess xo

P.s. Yes, I did turn 30 yesterday... No, I'm not upset about that. I'm actually really done with my 20's and very excited to have entered the new decade. 


P.p.s. This was obviously a personal choice and not one I expect anyone to convert to having read this blog. There's no judgement here. Do what you want with your social media. My only encouragement is that you turn it off every once in a while. 

When Martin Luther King Jnr took over my facebook.

As large portions of the world celebrate the death of Osama Bin Laden, someone in my facebook friendship network dared to post this as their update this morning:

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that" — Martin Luther King Jnr

Throughout the day people copied and pasted this as their own update and eventually this message of hope and love drowned out the celebration of murder (cos it’s STILL murder, even if the victim was a terrorist) I was reading about in my newsfeed.

I love this for a few reasons…

… This proves what the quote was saying - that ‘not hating’ isn’t enough – you need to REPLACE the darkness with something… Light.

… The message of love will spread by itself, not because someone guilt tripped you into re-posting it. Because ultimately, I believe, we are a people who do not want to hate, but want to believe in love and the power it holds.

… When one person has the courage to stand up with a message contrary to that of the media and their peers (even if it is just a fb update), others will stand up with them.

What are you standing up for today?

As for me, I stand with Martin Luther King Jnr and declare that I do not celebrate the death of one. Not even an enemy. We are not the giver of life, so we are not the one to take it away.


I dare you to stand with me. In love.

Just sayin...
J xo