All the descriptive words in the title of this post describe me. I am all of that. And before I go off on my rant, here’s my disclaimer…
(1) Life is good. I’m not unhappy.
(2) This isn’t about some self-indulgent, personal vent. I know I’m not the only one who experiences this and I don’t mind admitting that life can be tough sometimes, even amongst the good times.
I expect none of this will be news to anyone, but I don’t think it hurts to just put it out there… Just saying…
I turned 27 in August - - I recently discovered that I have grown up with a core-belief that it’s expected to be married by your mid-twenties. Hence, my birthday this year brought up some discomfort with being single. Should I be feeling that I’ve been ‘left on the shelf”? NO! Are you kidding me? But do I feel it anyway? Yes, sometimes. The truth is the majority of people in the ‘real-world’ don’t get married until their thirties. Having said that, there were times when marriage looked like a serious possibility and as much as it hurt to walk away at the time I am happy with where I am at now, compared to where I could have been. I also acknowledge that it’s only in recent years that I’ve truly started discovering who I am and what I’ve been created for. I can’t imagine what life would be like as a young married person not knowing what I now know about myself.
I’ve been single for a while now - - Do I get lonely? Yep. Do I like admitting that? Of course not. No one does. ‘Cos life is meant to be perfect with Jesus at your side right? I wish. Truth is, life isn’t perfect as a Christian, but it does make the difficult times a lot more bearable. Knowing that I have a hope and faith that allows me to cast my burdens onto someone stronger than me. So the loneliness can really suck sometimes but being single has its ‘ups’. I must admit I enjoy having the freedom with my spare time that doesn’t exist when you have to factor someone else into it all the time.
I am a girl… duh... - - Do I dream about the day when I get to walk down the aisle? Sure, sometimes. But I wonder if that might still be the case if weddings, marriages & brides weren’t celebrated such a way that it leaves us single women feeling so uncelebrated just cos our left ring finger remains so bare. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never truly succeed in life until my surname changes and I’m a part of the young-married’s club.
I am a Christian and I live in Adelaide - - We all know it’s a small town. As if it isn’t hard enough as it is to meet someone new, I gotta narrow it down even more by looking for someone with the same faith and love for Jesus… Now, when you meet someone new it’s hard to not automatically go into sussing-out-mode (or be temped to face-stalk them) because you know that person is rare. What’s worse is that you feel like all the non-single people in the room notice when two eligible single people are having a nice chat in the church foyer or at supper one night. If you are one of those people that like to look, stare and talk, please let me ask nicely – Stop it. It’s annoying and puts unwanted pressure on the friendship to be something that probably isn’t destined to be anyway. 90% of the time we all just want to be friends anyway. (And yes, I believe that it’s possible to have a healthy friendship with other single guys in this world. So if you see me having coffee with someone don’t assume it’s a date, please.)
Why did I bother to write this? Maybe cos I think someone needs to say it, so we’re all aware that is isn’t easy and maybe, just maybe, we could be a little more sensitive to wherever we’re at in life.
If you’re married, congratulations. I’m a little bit jealous of you. If you’re single, then rock on. Enjoy it while it lasts. ‘Cos while I’m happy to admit that I don’t want to be single, it can be lots of fun and I believe firmly that marriage is forever so once my single days are over, they are well and truly over.
Just saying…
