I'm done defending God.

[View the republished version on my new blog]

Bet you're wondering what the heck I'm on about. Am I crazy? Well, probably, but that's not the point...

Recent life experiences have been showing me there are some elements to the missional lifestyle that need some tweaking. Some responsibilities are mine, some are not. Here are some thoughts...

1) I'm done defending God. He doesnt need me to fight a battle He's already won. 

My idea of being a good witness involves knowing the truth (check!), believing it (check!), living accordingly (trying to!) and telling others about it (whenever I get the opportunity). But when I get a chance to talk about it, I will no longer jump on the defence (or worse, the attack) as if I have something to prove. God can and will do the proving for Himself. 

"Sometimes the idea of mission seems like a gathering of an army to go and conquer something. It seems goal specific, like the default is about us achieving something for God. Gaining some kind of authority." (Some thoughts from my friend and teacher, Tim Hein) 

But we're not actually called to do something for God and establish His authority - He has plenty of that all by Himself. There's a difference between those who bear witness to authority and those who carry it. 

2) I'm done trying to impress people with my theological understanding. (Like I know that much anyway...)

When I was recently faced with the truth that one of my friends had a terrible time growing up, do you think I had some deep theological answer for them? Nope. I was speechless actually. I just wanted to cry and give them a big hug.

I've realised now that my 'training' was about shaping my heart, mind, character, & aligning my life with Gods purpose for me. It's not about my spoken language. All too often I find that there are no words to say when someone shows you how deep their hurt goes, how broken they are. Instead I think about James 2:14-20 where it says "I will SHOW you my faith by my DEEDS." (NLT, emphasis mine)

Note: It says deeds. Not bible college degree... 

Deeds. Behaviour. Attitude. Lifestyle. 

(Seems more action based than spoken word, no?)

3) I'm done telling God where He needs to go.

I wonder what God thinks when we rock up in someones life and say to Him, "Righto God, lets get to work!" I imagine him rolling his eyes and thinking, My dear beloved, bless your cotton socks, but do you not realise I love this person like I love you and have been here since the beginning of time?

Perhaps instead of trying to lead God and inviting Him to work with us, we need to get behind Him, and see what He is already doing in the hearts and minds of people. That is the message I am to carry, not one I create myself, expecting God to turn up and support whatever I'm doing. (How obnoxious!)

4) I'm done working in isolation.

A large part of my job involves me managing a project that sees 6 different teams, each operating on different Saturday nights, serving and helping all kinds of people in need on Hindley Street, Adelaide. 

The individual teams may not know each other or cross paths much, but when we gathered all the team leaders recently, we heard so many stories about the same people each team were encountering and supporting from week to week. Amazing! 

I sat back and thought to myself, what an incredible example of what it means to be a part of a mission that is bigger than just your individual activity. 

Isn't that what the Church is meant to be? A global movement of believers, who by a seemingly unintentional system of seed planting, are in fact impacting the world through God, for God.

So... 

I'm done defending God. He doesn't need me fighting His already-won battle. 

I'm done trying to make an impact with my words when our actions speak louder anyway.

I'm done trying to make God move somewhere when He just wants me to go where He already is.

I'm done working in isolation and I need to better represent the global movement I'm actually already a part of. 

Instead, I will continue to dedicate this life to becoming the person I was created to be*, partnering with what God is already doing, bearing witness to a growing movement of  Christians awakening to what it means to BE the Church, not GO TO church. 

Just saying.

J xo

*I am so far from perfect, thought life was worthless, until You showed me who I am. Not here by mistake, no luck, only grace. I'm on my way to who I am. Not who I was. Not yet what I shall be. (Sample of lyrics from "I Am" - by Kirk Franklin)

A new church experience.

Imagine a church experience shaped around a community with needs. A community that would see more rejection than acceptance. A community that doesn't know the truth about Jesus and wouldn't know the first thing about modern day Christian culture.

Sounds challenging, right?

Now imagine a facility that's open in the heart of Adelaide's city, that aims to reach out to the least of these with food, company, rest, and clothing.

Tonight, for the first time, my friends at CitySalvos launched a new church service - simple in design, but large in scope. New in modern day missional terms, but old school in biblcal heart.

Two of the three people in the front row during tonight's service were first timers to any experience resembling church as I know it. One came up to me at the end and wasn't even sure if he'd used the word 'sermon' correctly. The other one was so chuffed with himself after I thanked him for sitting up the front. (I explained that as a worship leader you always feel better when people sit closer.)

Imagine if 'mission' wasn't something we did just outside of the church building, but was a central part of what happens inside the church gathering!

Tonight I saw glimpses of what it looks like to turn your actions into words. To start with an act of service, then invite someone into a conversation.

Still sound challenging?

Perhaps.

But I know a group of people who instead of seeing the challenge, only see the opportunity.

And when God places an opportunity like this in front of you, who are we to say no?

Just saying.

xo

Taking stock... A 12 month checkpoint.

I am sitting in the Sydney Entertainment Centre surrounded by thousands and thousands of women. It's that time of year, again. The time when I brave my fear of large crowds, let go of my Hillsong skepticism, forget about my work emails and bask in the beauty of sitting still, being one of the many, and learning. Its time to plug in and soak it up!

This time last year I wrote this blog... And what a 12 months it has been since then! For the third year in a row I am facing significant change in work and I am bringing it to colour conference to lay it down, seek guidance, receive peace, renewal and restoration of the heart as I brace myself for a new level. (And a busier workload... Again!!)

As always, I am thankful for the journey that is my life, but I am particularly thankful for these past few years especially. I believe I have grown more in this time than any other season in my 28 years of life. For the third year in a row, these few days in Sydney will be a 'marker' in my year that launch me into the growth that lies ahead. Bring it on, I say.

It makes me wonder, what will I be writing about this time next year?

 (For the record, I was battling identity issues last year as a single woman. I dealt with that at last years conference and met my now-boyfriend, Darren, a few weeks later... God has a wicked sense of humour.)

A story that shapes hearts. Including mine.

It's been almost four years since a local church easter camp hosted the raw and unpolished pilot of Immerse. That weekend marked the beginning of an incredible journey for me, and many others (it would now seem). Having just returned from my tenth (!!) Immerse experience, I felt it fitting to mark the occasion with a reflective blog of sorts.

We recently spent five days with this years Year In The Son students on a journey through the greatest story ever told. A story that breaks down preconceived ideas about a God that was once distant and unobtainable, and reveals his loving heart and relationship with his creation.

The setting was beautiful.

{Horseshoe Bay, Port Elliot.}

 

The students were inviting, fun, adventurous and ever so sarcastic… (That last bit could be something I inspired and maybe even encouraged... whoops!)

The Story was confronting, challenging, inspiring, restoring, encouraging and motivating. We wondered about what it would have been like to be there - what we would have seen, smelt, felt, tasted...?

{The separation experience}

Once again, I saw a genuine community form around laughter, prayer, inclusion, and the courage to ask questions we may not have the answers to - yet. We dared to venture into the realm of the heavenlies and walked out with reshaped hearts.

{Re-telling the story with some artistic flare.}

{Inside the story room}

We even played duck, duck, goose. (Sadly, no photographs were taken of this.)


But at the end of the day, the reward is not in the friendships made, the laughs had, or the new range of instagram photos I have to share. (Although they are all great things, of course.) No - it's when you read the thank you letters from your students and you can't hold back the smile.... 

"... to experience the bible in such a practical way has made it come alive!"

"... I'm actually excited to pick up my bible now."

"... I'm feeling more confident in my faith and loved what I learned."

"... the way we received it, I think it will stay with me for a long time."

If I could selfishly ask for any more than this, it would be that the story inspired a new group of movement makers, dedicated to sharing the story with others.

Perhaps there will be many more that will mark a number ten against their list of Immerse experiences. I surely hope so. Not because it is some revolutionary answer to contemporary youth ministry in Australia (although, I do occasionally wonder...) but because the journey of these past four years has made me, shaped me, taught me and led me to the very position I am currently in. And let me say, the view from here is amazing. A little scary at times, admittedly, but amazing nonetheless.


To my four special girls, you were indeed a sprinkle of delight in my life. (Get me a bucket.)

;)


Just saying.

J xo

Top ten memories that made 2011

In no particular order....

1. Colour conference with Mum, Emma, Baby-C and friends.

2. Sadly leaving my role as conductor/accompanist at the Australian Youth Choir.

3. Meeting my Darren. ("You're the Green Team chick, right?")

4. Moving house.

5. Three funerals :(

6. Increased hours at Encounter Youth and the launch of Hindley St Project

7. Community times at schoolies.

8. Two Immerse events - YITS in February and Perth in July.

9. Gospo choir

10. Most successful schoolies (Green Team) yet.

Thanks to everyone who made these memories what they are to me. My friends and family are in and through each of life's experiences and nothing would be the same without you.

I wonder what 2012 has in store?

Happy New Year all.

J xo

Don't box me in.

I feel I should start with an admission… a confession.

At a younger age, I went through the “Hillsong-dream-phase”. I secretly wanted to be the next Darlene Zschech, a feeling that I admit contributed to me going to Bible College to study Music Ministry. But I grew up, I got over it, moved on, and don’t need to post inflammatory blogposts to vent about how it's Hillsong's fault that I once idolised Darlene.  If anyone is to blame for my Darlene-aspirations, it’s me. But I don’t think there’s much wrong with finding a role-model  in who was one of the best in the field I wanted to work in. Isn’t that just part of growing up? So that’s what I did – I grew up, realised there is more to ministry than writing the next big contemporary worship song, and more to church than four walls and flashy lights... and annual reports... 

My friend Andrew recently posted a blog about the issue of Christian consumerism and the profit vs giving debate in mega-churches like Hillsong. A lot of what Andrew wrote is fair, and to give some context to what I'm about to write I encourage you to read it. However, since we are all entitled to our opinion, I’d like to respond. (Andrew is actually a personal friend of mine and we are not strangers to friendly debates over such matters. I am confident he will enjoy this... hehe)

I should start by saying that I don’t much care for the “Hillsong - profit vs giving” issue.

What I do care for is the assumption that we* are all like Hillsong, or want to be like them. Don’t box me in.

(*faith-filled Jesus freaks, aka the average Christian.)

I also care about the link between Christian consumerism and Jesus. Whatever is wrong with the “mega-church”, it’s not Christianity that is the problem. The heart of the Gospel is (as it has always been) about sacrificial love, the restoration of brokenness and the service of others. If this message has been warped or misunderstood along the way, it’s not Jesus’ fault. Humans are not perfect and sometimes we get it wrong. But just because some of us get it wrong, doesn’t meant we all do.

Don’t box me in.

On that point, while I often enjoy and appreciate the work of Banksy, I do find his image of Jesus offensive. Why? Because it’s not His fault. It falsely depicts that the cause of Christian consumerism to be rooted in Jesus and the cross. This is ridiculous. How can a man who willingly gave up his life, never owned much, didn’t search for fame, be at the heart of consumerism? #confusedface

I don't believe that ‘in Churches, size matters’. In actual fact, size doesn’t matter at all. Furthermore, the ‘size’ of a ‘church’ is open to personal interpretation anyway. Big or small churches, what’s the difference? We’re all part of a global community of believers anyway – it’s up to you how you distinguish between the individual groups within the worldwide community. If you do that by dividing us into buildings with various signage that reads “Baptist”, “Lutheran”, “Uniting” or even “Pentecostal”, that’s your prerogative. I for one, don’t see the walls. I just see the people.

In a faith community this large, (I’m talking globally now) there’s bound to be differences when you break it down between the individual or smaller groups. But just because we all believe in the same God, please don’t assume we all aspire to be like the biggest, loudest, richest and best-dressed one of us. We don’t all aspire to be like Hillsong.

Don’t box me in.

I do, however, agree that the entire church should be the example of giving to the rest of the world. I also believe it should also be the example of love, acceptance, growth, truth, justice and everything else that Jesus lived and died for.

Dare I suggest that if you dared to dig a little deeper, or ask around, you will find a growing number of Christians that DON’T follow the Hillsong model, that care less for slick Sunday Services, great looking buildings and worship teams. I haven’t actually purchased a Hillsong album for a long time. The Christian faith DOES in fact thrive in people’s living rooms.

And it’s often these low-profile groups of believers that fund various works both locally and globally.
I can tell you about a gathering of hundreds of young Christians that regularly give of their time AND money to fund and participate in a project that protects, cares for, and celebrates teenagers in Adelaide. This same group of Christians are now responsible for an operation that aims to do the same thing in the heart of Adelaide’s city during peak night times on Saturdays.

This operation isn’t a “mega church”. But it is the church doing something pretty ‘mega’ in my eyes. The coolest part is that you won’t find this group of Christians in one particular building each Sunday. It’s scattered all over South Australia. It’s still church though… ‘cos “the church” is a movement of people. Not a building.

Don’t box me in.

There may be some problems with how mega churches do what they do, but they are only one part of a much bigger, less definable, global community of Christians who all do things differently.

I believe my responsibility is to live my life according to the truth I know. Not point the finger at those who I deem worthy of my judgement.

Don’t box me in.

Just sayin'

Being Aunty Jess.

This morning I took an amazing picture of my adorable niece, Charlotte (19 months). I think it's my favourite picture of her to date. Her cheeky smile makes me giggle and the way she says my name (which sounds more like "Desh") just steals my heart.

Charlotte's two older brothers, my nephews Lachie (7) and Tommy (4) are my little heroes. Lachie is the kind that notices the little things and tells you how much he means to you by craving one-on-one time and sleepovers at my place. (And afternoon tea dates at Macca's with caramel sundaes.)

Meanwhile, I don't think Tommy will ever by too old for hugs and kisses and often has us all in stitches with his show-stopping one liners at family lunch on Sundays.

 (such a cheeky little monkey)

Sometimes I think about how I'm at an age (28 now..) when it's common to be a wife and a mother and I remember that I am yet to be either of those. At these times I need only to spend a morning with these beautiful children and I know that being an Aunty is enough. More than enough. There's nothing I wouldn't do for these children and I count it a priviledge to be in a "village" like our family's.

And I thank my sister and her husband for valuing my relationship with their children the way that they do.

 
Maybe I'll have one or two of my own one day... Maybe I won't. Who knows. Either way, I'm good for now.

J xo